Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
