with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
