Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
