Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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