idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize