People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
