This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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