Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
