non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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