I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
