so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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