My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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