sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
