I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
