im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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