Already got asked if we're dating
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
