i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize