Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
