Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize