All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
