she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
