my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
