I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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