Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
