i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
