Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
