just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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