how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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