absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
