no. you can't hotbox the world.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
