u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
