mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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