there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize