so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
