i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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