I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
