Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
