Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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