Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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