that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
