i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
