I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
