It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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