We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
