Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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