Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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