if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
