i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
