Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Randomize