every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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