Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
