is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
