Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
