Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Terrible idea I love it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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