This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
