Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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