she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize