Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
