My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize