Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
