My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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