One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
