He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
