Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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